Rant One: Staring

So it has been far too long since I last blogged.  I'm going to try and update more seriously, I promise.  In hopes that it will help I'm going to write a series of blogs on Korean things I didn't anticipate.  Today's topic: staring.

OK, I get it.  I'm not Korean therefore I don't fit in very well in this country.  That said, I'm still amazed how many people stare at me on a daily basis.  People stop and take pictures of us just walking around--literally just me standing on a subway or Ben and I walking down a sidewalk is a photo opportunity.  I would understand if I was in Sub-Saharan Africa where there is a legitimate chance they haven't been exposed to outsiders in any fashion but Korea is quite advanced.  They watch American movies, listen to our music, and teach their kids to speak English.  You would think they'd be less awe struck when they actually see one of us on the street.  I also understand that young kids stare and I'm totally fine with that but when 65 year old women stare at me the entire subway ride it makes me uncomfortable.  Aside from being tall and overweight I think I'm a pretty normal looking human being.  I don't have any deformities or a 3rd arm so I don't see what all the fuss is about.  I'm also going out of my way to try to fit in and avoid standing out so it makes it very frustrating when half the people around are burning holes in the back of my head as I stare out the bus window.

I guess it is like when celebrites get photographed in public and then it gets published in tabloids or celeb gossip blogs.  Oh my God!  Jessica Alba buying groceries?  Justin Timberlake going for a jog?  I always just wonder who gives a shit about that kind of nonsense?  I mean really folks, they're famous not aliens.  They go about the same mundane, daily shit that the rest of us do, they just look better doing it.  It is the same way for foreigners in Korea.  I don't know what they think foreigner teachers do when we're not teaching but everyone seems shocked that we live a pretty normal existence in their fine country which involves such radical adventures as eating, riding a bus, or buying groceries.  A perfect example was last week at our one of our favorite restaurants the apparent owner stood directly at the side of our table and silently watched us eat.  For minutes on end he stood there hovering over us.  I'm not sure how you say "awkward" in Korean but I should probably add it to my list of words to learn.  I mean, he was literally watching us put the food on the chopsticks, raise it to our mouths, chew, and swallow as if he expected me to stuff it up my nose or under my eyelid instead.  I felt like a rat in a lab experiment where my every move was closely monitored under a microscope.  He also rubbed Charlie's stomach as if to say "that is where the food goes" as if Chuck was unaware.

I suppose part of this whole dilemna is a cultural difference.  In the US you teach your kids not to stare at someone who is different because it is rude.  It makes them uncomfortable and brings to the forefront the fact that they're different.  I'll admit not staring goes against your natural inclination which is why I'll pardon the young kids staring under the guise of "they don't know better."  But in Korea it isn't rude to stare.  If there is something interesting happening, such as a 6'2"/200 lb. white man eating sushi, they don't want to miss any of the action so they just stare away.  When in Rome do as the Romans.  Well, when in Korea be stared at like a bearded lady I suppose.

I'll try to blog again tomorrow.  I have a long list of Korea rants so the blog should be moderately entertaining again in the near future.

Take it easy, but take it. 

Degree Deodorant Sucks

Buddha's Birthday, Korean B-Boys, and Bottle Feeding Kittens

It has been awhile since I last blogged but rest assured that is only because nothing of real note has happened in the past week.  Normal days of going to school, eating good food, and struggling to communicate.  I'll give you the highlights.

I've made two new friends.  Marie is a teacher nearby who found my blog and contacted me about hanging out.  Ben, Charlie, Marie, and I had dinner at Okja's and then headed out for a night of darts and drinking at Now.  As an aside there was a fight at Now Bar and the sweet bartender, Mrs. C, got accidentally punched in the aftermath.  I'm all for going at it in a bar but when a 60-year old gets a fat lip I draw the line.  Luckily the guys left and everything went back to normal.  It is great to be making new friends oustside the school and I look forward to hanging out with Marie again soon.

Ben and I also managed to make friends with the Asst. Manager of the local Baskin Robbins, Hans.  We went for cookies and cream, we came out with a friend and plans to see a soccer game with him this summer.  Quite random and unexpected but awesome at the same time.  Hans learned all his English from music and movies but I must say his English skills are excellent and I really look forward to hanging out with him outside of BK in the near future.  It is strange how friendly people have been to me in Korea.  Perhaps I'm just accustomed to America but people in this country truly do seem like the friendliest people on the planet.  I had no intention of making friends with the guy scooping my ice cream but next thing you know we've been talking to the guy for 40 minutes and we're exchaning phone numbers.  I don't think that would ever happen in the U.S. and I think it says quite a bit about the Korean lifestyle.

Yesterday we didn't have school due to the equivalent of Korean Labor Day so we decided to check out the Seoul Zoo.  Doing a little research revealed it is actually the 10th largest zoo in the world so I was quite excited.  The zoo itself is set in a valley surrounded by beautiful mountains.  There were tons of flowers, trees, and landscaping throughout the zoo as well as a small river running through one part. In typical Korea fashion some of it was entirely normal, other aspects were completely foreign and strange to us.  They had all the normal zoo animals you'd expect but some other aspects of going to the zoo were noticably missing.  Say for example, normal zoo food. When I think of eating at the zoo I think of things like popcorn, cotton candy, hotdogs, etc.  I don't think of silkworms, dried squid legs, or bibimap.  We were starving so we needed to find something quickly that we could order with relatively little difficulty.  We settled on "Lotteria" which is a fast food chain selling hamburgers.  In the pictures they actually look quite good.  After they messed up each of our orders in some fashion (i.e., Charlie orders 2 burgers and a pop--he gets two burgers and a shrimp sandwich) we sit down to eat.  Now Charlie had warned us that Lotteria sucks but at this point I was hungry and how bad can a chicken sandwich be?  It turns out, it can be downright awful.  It was swimming in barbeque sauce, mayonaise, and mustard.  If I hadn't been on the verge of starvation I don't think I would have been able to finish more than a few bites.  Easily, without a doubt, the worst chicken sandwich I've ever had.  I'll trust Charlie and Ben's assessment that the burger and shrimp sandwich were about on par with the chicken.  I guess when in Korea you need to stick with Korean food.

That brings us to today which I think is quite representative of my experience so far.  This morning we went with Anna, her sister, her parents, and her uncle to a Buddhist temple where her other uncle is a Buddhist monk to celebrate Buddha's birthday.  So we all load into her sister's giant van and start our journey.  I should prefice the story by saying Anna is the only other person in the car who speaks English so it is somewhat awkward to be joining their family on their way to a religous ceremony and then just sit quitely in the backseat of the van.  So about 5 minutes into the ride we pull up next to another car where a dog has his head out the window--totally normal right?  Oh no, everyone is pointing and laughing as if this is the first dog they've ever seen in a car.  Her uncle actually took pictures.  I have a good laugh to myself.  Not two minutes later I hear this weird, high-pitched noise coming from the seat in front of me.  I look up just in time to see her uncle pull a baby kitten out of his bag and begin bottle feeding it.  This man was just photographing a dog in the passenger seat all the while he has a 20-day old kitten in his man-purse.  So now he has this hand-sized kitten out and is bottle feeding it in the seat in front of me all the while I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on.  I don't know about you guys, but if I'm bringing a kitten along in my backpack for a day trip it is certainly something I mention as soon as I get in the car.  This guy just nonchalantly pulls it out after 5 minutes and no one besides the three of us really had any reaction.  I later asked Anna why he had a kitten and she said she didn't really know.  A dog with his head out the window is picture worthy but pulling a kitten out of your backpack like some kind of magic trick is just mundane to them.

So we get to the Buddhist temple and I must admit is quite different than what I had in mind.  It is right near this giant construction company parking lot, next to a horrible polluted little stream,, and surrounded by small, individual gardens.  The smell of cow manure was quite overpowering at first, especially considering I was incredibly car sick after riding in the back of a a manual transmission bus for 30 minutes in stop-and-go traffic.  The temple itself consists of a series of small buildings that appear to be somewhere between house and shack.  Inside one room is what I'll call "Buddha's temple" where they go to pray and look at statues of Buddha.  The other rooms were the Monk's living quarters and a large kitchen.  Oh, out front there was a giant concrete Buddha as well.  So we meet Anna's uncle who turns out the be the only Monk in the whole damn place, we bow before the Buddha statue, and then the ceremony starts.  Anna assures us it is boring so we instead explore the nearby lake and watch some people fish for an hour or so.  We come back, the ceremony ends, and we sit down (on the floor of course) for lunch.

Lunch was bibimap which is basically vegetables mixed with rice.  I must admit, it was the first Korean food I didn't really like.  I've had Americanized bibimap and it is great but this was just a little too exotic for my taste buds. I was happy to notice Ben and Charlie weren't eating much of theirs either so we all just sort of picked out the parts we liked, ate, and left.  Then they start bringing us bananas and other food because they're worried we didn't eat enough.  It was quite comical but very hospitable at the same time.

So next we're told that their is going to be a b-boy dance show.  If you're not aware (and by that I mean if you're over the age of 30), b-boys are the guys who do breakdancing moves to hip-hop music.  It turns out the monk was previously married and has some kids who are now b-boys.  The monk actually did some breakdancing poses on the marble area in front of the giant Buddha statue, I wish I could have been quicker with my camera.  Anyway, I digress.  The performance was supposed to be outside but it started to rain.  Ok, I assume the show is cancelled as we certainly can't go inside the temple.  Oh no, 10 minutes later we're watching guys pop-and-lock in the same place they just prayed for an hour.  I'm talking smack-dab in the middle of the Buddhist temple these guys are breaking it down to American hip-hop music.  It was the most hilarious juxtaposition of ancient Korean culture with modern American culture I've ever seen.  This guy is spinning on his head 5 feet away from his Buddhist monk father who is seated Indian-style infront of a golden Buddha statue.

Bottle feeding kittens and hip-hop dancing infront of Buddhist temples--just another day in the life.

Take it easy, but take it.